Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank? He wanted to make a clean getaway! What did the duck say after he went shopping? Put it on my bill! What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? What has a hundred heads and a hundred tails? One hundred pennies! Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather! Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they're always a little short! Knock Knock! Who's there? Cash who? But I bet you expected someone named "Penny. Yes, with four children in the house, we have to watch our budget, and I'm not always great at being a good steward.
But, I'm hoping that by visiting me here at Meet Penny, you will learn from my mistakes as we strive to raise a family with sense on cents. Your email address will not be published.
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Looking forward to seeing you then. Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?
A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up. The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. I heard of one family who had some visitors coming to lunch and they wanted to show-off to their visitors how well they had bought up their children and how well their children prayed. A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
You never know when it may come in handy. I heard about a pastor who was visiting He went to the door, he rang the doorbell and there was no response, so he rang again, he could see there was a light on and again no response. He went round to see and there was a radio on and a light was on.
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This is strange, he thought, and decided to just leave a note. The following Sunday he saw the woman in church and she came up to him and just handed him a little note. There was a lady who lived by herself. One day she came home and found her house was been robbed and the robber was still there!
He sat calmly and waited while the lady called the police. The police arrived and proceeded to arrest the robber. The policeman noted that the robber was somewhat of a burly guy and the lady was a small, petite thing. She is so much smaller than you. All she did was yell a Bible verse at you. The robber looked up at the policeman with a look of shock.
Jokes Around the Lemonade Stand
A man was very eager to meet his future son in law. His daughter had gotten engaged unexpectedly and this weekend would be their first time meeting him. He told all of his friends at work he had a whole list of questions to ask this young man. On Saturday morning he invited his soon to be son-in-law out for a cup of coffee.
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As they began to talk, the father quickly found himself asking the questions that were weighing on his mind. I know you just finished college and all, but how do you plan to support yourself and my daughter?
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Do you have a house or apartment lined up for after the wedding? The father waited a few moments before launching into his third question. Any savings?
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A financial nest egg? George Bush was traveling through an airport just recently when he saw a man that looked just like Moses. About this time a secret service agent approaches and asks if there is a problem. Their famous Gorilla, Gabe, died unexpectedly and he had been one of the biggest attractions — especially for the children.
Well, since the busy season for the zoo was just around the corner and they did not have time to get a new gorilla, one of the zookeepers came up with this idea. They had one of the other zookeepers dress up in a complete gorilla outfit and pretend to be Gabe.
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This zookeeper really took to this new job and he got to be quite good at swinging from the branches, eating bananas and was fooling everyone. One day, however, he was a bit too enthusiastic. He ended up swinging a bit higher than expected and let go at the wrong time. He ended up sailing out of his cage and directly into the cage of the lion. The lion sauntered over to him, got really close and whispered back.
The Rev. Billy Graham had just finished a tour of the Florida East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while.
https://trenchedsipomo.cf Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he got in the back of the limo and Billy took the wheel. He turned onto I and accelerated to about 90 MPH. The blue lights of the State Highway Patrol flashed in his rearview mirror. He pulled over and a trooper came to his window.
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